


*Insert cliche line about stealing someone's heart here*

by ISileth_99



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: /Very/ loosely based on FAHC, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Mild Angst, criminals au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 06:06:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24346228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ISileth_99/pseuds/ISileth_99
Summary: Ryan is a tired convenience store clerk, and Jeremy is a reckless shoplifter. After Jeremy holds up the store during Ryan’s shift, the thief makes his getaway. After that, they both thought they’d never see the other again, but that changes when they meet each other on a blind date. Small world, huh?
Relationships: Jeremy Dooley/Ryan Haywood
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	*Insert cliche line about stealing someone's heart here*

To Ryan, the worst day of the workweek was Tuesday. By the start of Tuesday, all the energy saved up over the weekend disappeared, and Friday remained a distant four days away. He pondered just that thought as he shut off the engine to his car. Once he stepped out into the parking lot, however, his thoughts turned to the freezing February wind. “Someday,” he reassured himself under his breath, “I will work a consistent day shift, and it will be spring, and I will feel the sun again.”

Ryan wouldn’t describe himself as a pessimist. Sure, he had his fair share of gripes with the world, but who didn’t? He certainly wouldn’t call himself cynical. And yet, every time the man walked into the store’s back entrance to start his shift, his coworker, Meg, would make him feel that way. Meg was the type of employee who would always get her picture up on the wall, someone their boss called a “model worker.” When Ryan rang up purchases, he’d only quietly complete the transaction and occasionally make small-talk. And it’s not like Ryan wasn’t friendly, he just…

He was tired. He was stuck in a dead end job at a convenience store, and working inconsistent hours every week was bad for his health. At least, he thought so. The magazines next to the register were probably not the best sources of information. _Why do I let myself read those things anyway? I’m a grown man, not a 35-year old housewife._

“Hey, Rye-guy!” Meg’s words broke him out of the fog he had drifted into. “My shift’s all done. Do yourself a favor and try not to fall asleep while punched in again.”

Ryan rolled his eyes and pinned his nametag onto his shirt. Even in his less-than-cheery mood, Meg’s energy was infectious. Ryan cracked a smile as he quipped back, “Not my fault I have to work past midnight.” Using the phrase “have to” was purposeful, and Meg’s smile wavered for just a moment in an acknowledgement of sympathy. Ryan truly needed the hours. No matter their personalities or their outlook, both of them knew that time was money, and the more they worked, the more they could afford rent.

After a few more good-humored remarks, Meg left him at the register. Ryan watched her as she turned on her car, revved the engine, and shot out of the parking lot. He just shook his head. As draining as a retail job at a shitty convenience store could be, Meg seemed to remain endlessly energetic. “Young punks,” Ryan joked to no one in particular.

The thing about working a shift after midnight is that you have way more free time then you could possibly do actual work with. This leads to mindlessly organizing shelves, watching the headlights of cars pass on the highway, and of course, those stupid magazines. Sure, they were trash, but they were better than falling asleep at his shift. Again. Ok, maybe it’s been three times, but no one has ever even been in the store when it happened. No one ever was in the store this late.

Except tonight. The tell-tale _whoosh_ of the automatic doors interrupted the droning fluorescent lights momentarily. Ryan glanced up casually from an article titled “Five reasons why you’re eating watermelon wrong ,” and he froze at the sight in front of him. The man staring him down was much shorter than him, with a stocky build. He wore a purple bandana over his mouth, a white cowboy hat, and all dark clothing. But what scared Ryan the most was the pistol he pointed at him. It was shiny black and gleamed coldly in the light of the store.

“Listen up,” the man in black began. “I’m not here to cause trouble. You give me what I want, and I’ll get out of here. But no funny business, alright?” When Ryan nodded his understanding, he continued. “Now, open the register. No alarms.” Though his pistol remained pointed squarely at Ryan, the short man eased his finger off the trigger. To Ryan, he seemed as cool as a cucumber. _Take away the gun and bandana,_ Ryan thought, _and he could just be another motorist._

Ryan, on the other hand, felt like a can of diet coke being placed under a hydraulic press. In the deadly quiet of the store, the register made an obnoxiously loud _ching_. Ryan winced at the noise, terrified that he’d accidentally tick the guy off and end up a bloody mess on the floor. He began to pull bills out of the register, starting with the few fifties before moving onto the others. The man in the bandana looked satisfied as he pulled out a pillowcase and pointed the gun at it.

Even if he wanted to, there was no way Ryan could object. He took the bag from the crook and began to place in the money as passively as possible. It was only after he was halfway done when Ryan heard the other man chuckle. It wasn’t an evil chuckle, or a cruel chuckle, or even a maniacal chuckle. No, this was the kind of laugh someone got out of a good pun. Ryan dared looking up, only to see the man staring at his nametag. He looked like he was smiling under the bandana. “Haywood? The fuck kind of last name is Haywood?”

The outburst gave Ryan pause, temporarily calming his nerves. “Are… are you insulting my last name?”

“Of course not, I just… that’s such a funny last name. No offense.”

Ok, now Ryan was just confused. Who says ‘no offense’ to the person they’re robbing? What the hell is this guy’s deal? Whatever it was, he was getting a bit ticked off at the remark. “Yeah, well… at least I’m not dressed like a train robber from the 1800s.”

“Listen, with a job like this, I get to dress how I like.” 

“Wanna trade career choices?” 

“Nah,” the criminal responded, adjusting the gun in his grip. “Can’t say I wouldn’t enjoy a handsome guy like you as a partner in crime, though.” He lifted his hat just enough to wink at Ryan. In response, Ryan just laughed a bit in confusion as he finished emptying the cash register. The man holding him up at gunpoint was now flirting with him? Great. As he handed the bag back to the thief, he heard what were distinctly police sirens. “Fuck,” the man swore. “I said no alarms.”

Ryan put his hands up defensively, almost as if to protect himself from the now thoroughly spooked man. “No no, I didn’t set off an alarm! I swear!”

But he wasn’t even finished with his sentence before the man took off, bag in one hand and gun in the other. As he rushed out of the automatic doors, a gust of wind blew the hat off his head, revealing a patch of short, orange-dyed hair. The man kept going though, and jumped onto a motorcycle. In seconds, he brought it to life, drove over a curb, and disappeared in a flash down the side street. 

As the taillights of the man’s motorcycle faded away, the sirens of the police grew closer. Ryan watched as he saw the pair of squad cars fly down the highway. And right past the convenience store. Ryan hadn’t been lying; the police cars were just a coincidence. The feeling came back into his legs, and he wiped a bit of sweat off of his forehead. “Well,” he quietly stated, “That could have gone a lot worse.” Ryan just stayed standing in one place for a few minutes, glancing at the side street the man disappeared down until his heart stopped pumping at four hundred beats per minute. Finally, he sat down in the stupid, uncomfortable chair behind the counter and pulled out his phone. He unlocked it and began typing.

_Meg, I think you might need to come back to the store. We just got robbed._

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first attempt at writing fanfic. I plan to have it go for around ten chapters or so. I have an outline of what will happen, and it's just a fun little creative thing for me to do. Feel free to leave constructive criticism or advice if you'd like, but really I just hope you enjoy it.


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